Tuesday, June 7, 2011

I just want to GO!

Sometimes I have days like today where I wonder "hmmmmm".

I'm not discouraged. I'm joyful. I'm trusting in His plan for our family. But sometimes I just wonder "hmmmmmm, what is God doing?"

I'm not one who plays things last minute. However, this is all this journey seems to be. I'm clearly out of my comfort zone most of the time.

Have you ever been there?

There are so many details that need to pan out for us to move. I've been wrestling with feelings of fear pelting my spirit yelling, "what if this doesn't work out?" What I've learned is that I (we) need to be content being the kind of vessel that God has called us to be. This journey is not about us. If our family was meant to be used to have a community united to build a beautiful baby home for Kenya's tiniest treasures, then Praise God. The icing on the cake, for me, would be to live in Kenya and watch Sprouts be built from brick 1 on up. That is the direction we are headed.

Today, I am feeling challenged to surrender the plans that I have for my life and be content where I am today. I struggle with pride and I struggle with being discouraged easily. Does that make sense? I know God is refining me in these areas of my life on a daily basis.

I feel like I've been living 'in the future' for months and I just want to be in Kenya. I know I need to be focused on today, the present, and stop worrying about the "what ifs".

Yesterday, we had sweet time with my Grandparents. My kids' Great-Grandparents. This meant the world to me to have them together as they have not seen our kids since Ben was 9 months old.

They stopped for lunch on their way back home to Colorado. They poured their years of life and wisdom and filled my soul with much needed encouragement.

I'm so thankful to have generations before me who have loved God deeply and have loved me unconditionally despite the "detours" I have taken along the way.

This verse came to mind after I had posted these pictures and it seemed fitting.

Psalm 100:5
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

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