From the Inside Out

...I can't start my work day here until I get this off my chest! Wow-it has been a bit of a tumultuous week for me-emotionally speaking. I feel like this journey that God is taking us on stirs up waves of emotion. I recognize this as totally normal, as moving does this to people :)

I'm so encouraged by Katie's blog post today. She recently returned to Uganda, where she is a momma to 13 Ugandan children and is just 20 yrs old. She spend the past 5 or 6 weeks in the States and just before she left, she broke out with Shingles all over her body.

What challenges me today, is, when the going gets tough-really tough-am I going to collapse my tent and walk away? Or, will I recognize who is my Rock and keep moving forward?!

I choose to keep my tent up.

I have had moments where I have wigged out. I mean, wigged out! Don't ask my husband as he may come ask you if he can move in...(ha ha) as I've thought about all the barriers that are in our way....support raising, selling our home (or, renting vs selling), our dog, our community that we love so much, transitions for our kids, etc.

(I know...barriers...pish posh....)

I do recognize that my God is much bigger than those barriers. In fact, He already has the plan laid out, we just need to trust Him. I need prayer in this area.

Hillsong has a semi-new song out right now and I just drink the lyrics when I listen to them. The song is titled "From the Inside Out"

Here are a few. I encourage you to listen to it-to meditate on it and make it become your prayer. It has helped me get through moments that seem impossible with this transition.

God wants us from the inside out. God wants our hearts to break for the things that break his....

Your will about all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing you praise

Everlasting
Your light will shine
will all else fades
Never ending
Your Glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart in my soul
Lord, I give you control
Consume me from
the inside out, Lord
Let justice and praise
become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Thank YOU for the encouragement you have all been to our family in these early steps of this journey. Words cannnot express how precious you all have been.

..Because I'm so laid back

I found these from reading one of my favorite blogs. I love lists...because I'm so laid back like that.

You know.

Relaxed.

My husband loves my lists. Especially when I give him his.

...and what I love about these lists, is there is a variety of them. So I can categorize my lists under their own category. I can't wait to show these to my husband!!!

where in the world is my creativity??

...ahem.

I am all better today. Thank you for asking. I can only think of what the other drivers were thinking as they looked over at me yesterday from this incident. I mean, what would I have thought if I would have seen a woman bleeding-driving erratically-calling frantically in the car speeding past me in a construction zone.

I do not speed.

It's been a great week so far marked by avoiding any incidents of Collin standing in the toilet, painting the cabinets with marker, lipstick, or whatever, kept the falls and bruises to a minimum. Ben has been our usual 3rd parent to Collin.

I've been really craving to get into my creative side. I love being a mom to my boys, a wife, and a Social Worker. There isn't a lot of time left in my day to do the things I really enjoy. Sound familiar? This weekend I am going to try to finish Ben's baby book through preschool, as this is an never-ending goal of mine, try to do some writing and do some projects with my boys. Baking to appease my husband...and continue to get our garage sale ready to go.

Blogging is soooo great for me, and I love reading yours. I am inspired by people's blogs I read. If you are a frequent reader, I am often curious as to where you are from and if you have a blog too! I love adding more blogs to my "must read" list I have running.

What are your plans this weekend?

A moving murder scene

So, being the foolish citizen I am, I have decided to take it upon myself and get poked with a needle twice a week to donate plasma...all for a little extra cash. You know, so I can go out to eat with my co workers if I want to, buy my favorite pair of jeans or, just have a little stash for a rainy day.

This has not been a pleasant experience and I highly doubt that I will be returning.

Take my morning, this morning, for example.

I stroll into the donation center at about 8am. All is well-my iron levels are good, I have drank plenty of water to make sure that all flows nicely.

I get poked, wrapped and I'm out the door in about 45 minutes with about $40 extra dollars in my pocket.

I am driving down the interstate to work and I feel a drip-drip-drip down my elbow into my parka I am wearing by the elbow of my right arm.

I pull up my sleeve and see that blood is seeping underneath my bandage. I put pressure on it to see if it helps. NOPE it makes it squirt-so now I have a pool of blood on my lap on my parka about to overflow onto my seat. Thank goodness I do not faint at the sight of blood, because I would have been in deep trouble.

I look like a moving murder scene. I am also going 60 mph in heavy morning traffic and approaching a slower speed as we are getting into a construction zone. Perfect.

So, I'm driving one-handed, calling my employer to get me a new shirt to wear, and stopping the flow of blood as best I can whilst keeping everyone else on the road safe. Sitcom episode in the making, I KNOW.

I pull into the parking lot, blood spills out of my lap as I get out of my car onto the pavement and I'm running into the building holding up my arm and putting pressure on it like any good EMT impersonator would (do I hear "RESCUE 911 music in the background??).

I get to the bathroom and clean up and stop the bleeding. All is well.

I'm clean.

Wondering if this mess was worth the $40 I was paid today.

I am not normal.

a balloon for an orphan

I wanted to share a cool moment that happened with Ben last week.

There have been some tough days in our household-specifically with our oldest, son, Benjamin, as we have conversations with him about moving. He asks many appropriate questions about what our house will look like, who will his friends be, if they have football there and what will we eat.

Stemming from these conversations are great teaching moments for us. Teaching moments about how to be able to take the next step because we have faith. Teaching him what it means to solely lean on Jesus.

We often have discussions about how we can care for 'the orphan' in our own community. Ben knows what I do for a career here in North Dakota. He knows that I help kids find families that are safe until their parents get better and can take care of them again. Ben often asks how he can help too (which floors me, because what was I thinking about when I was 5 yrs old). Ben often asks what orphans look like, if they live close to us, how can he help.

A couple weeks ago, my employer held a foster parents picnic in a local park. My kiddos tagged along with me as my husband had to work late that night. Many children at the picnic were kids with special needs.

As a part of the picnic, we had a fabulous clown making crazy animals out of balloons. The balloons were heard deflating and popping as kids hit trees and grass. Ben became very upset as he was amongst these kids. He repeatedly wanted another balloon-and another. Finally, I told him enough was enough, and there were many other kids that wanted balloons still, and the one in his hand was it for the evening.

The popping of the balloons continued. Ben was able to control his balloon but saw another child accidentally pop his balloon and became upset. Ben ran over to him and gave the child his last balloon. Ben ran back to me and exclaimed "Mom! Mom! I helped an orphan! I gave him my balloon!"

I am so thankful. I truly see God preparing the hearts of my kids as we make this transition. Thank you Jesus. He IS faithful!

Sunny Wednesday

I am sitting here at my desk at work, needing a break. So, here I am. I feel the Lord stirring in my heart and I feel restless. Do you ever have cravings just to be able to stop what you are doing and just sit with Him? I am so thankful that we serve a God where we CAN do that. No matter what we are doing, where we are, who we are with, we can be present with the Lord.

I was reading in my Bible the other day and came upon this verse that just met me where I was at. It is in Psalms 46:1-10

1 "God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.

5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.

6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

8 Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.

9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields with fire.

10 "Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."


Does that incourage you like it does TJ and I? We have a God that has gone before us, has already laid our life out for us, and all we have to do is hold Jesus' hand and trust him.

There have been turbulent times for TJ and I as we pursue going to Kenya next Spring. We have had encouraging conversations and also some strange looks from others. Regardless, we know that it is not about us. Our life is about serving a God that is much bigger than our thoughts. It is about serving God in ways that take us out of our comfort zone. Frankly, I am feeling really uncomfortable, but at peace.

If you would like to be on our prayer team with us on this journey, please email us at our new email, specifically for this journey at tlkenya@yahoo.com

Have you taken steps of faith recently? If so, share! I LOVE stories about how God has proven Himself faithful, in the smallest moments in our relationships and in the biggest, aching moments in our life. Let us be an encouragement to eachother. How GREAT is our God!

Mohawk Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

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Yes, I am that kind of Mom.....

My kids are always clean, and well-groomed,

Well-mannered and always properly clothed.

So there is absolutely no way that I shaved my boys' heads to give them mohawks.

Nope.


...and most certainly of course, I would never let my boys leave the house looking like this.




Not me!