Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Why I don't run

It's marathon season here in Fargo. My husband is obsessed. I would like to take this week and celebrate why I do NOT run.

1. Froggles - a term my husband speaks. a.k.a "the jogging farts". Are you kidding me!?!?

2. Bleeding nipples - tshirts chaffing...gah! do I need to explain? Looks like a great time. Sign me up.

3. Pooping in pants - apparently the bowel system unleashes when you run and forget to clear out the pipes.

4. Being chased by dogs. Or, being bitten by TJ's personal favorite, a Bischon Frise. Ruff Ruff.

5. Hypothermia (in this part of the country, not freezing to death requires a minimum of 11 layers of running gear)

Oh, and did I mention that 9 months out of the year it feels like it's dark from 7pm to 6am? So, in order to get a good run in, one must look like a glow stick to not get run over by a car, snowplow, or whatever....

6. The gear. Tight pants, short shorts, shoes that look like this!

Nothing about this screams "HEY! I'M HAVING A GREAT TIME!!!"

TJ swears it's a great stress reliever. I coupon and paint my toes. We all have different coping skills.

Perhaps you are a lover of running. If you are running ANY event this year, I salute you! I also will be "that gal" wearing an obnixious outfit and holding some poster up commenting on how warm, relaxed and "not thirsty" I am.


riebdonnaj said...

Joanna is becoming a runner...5k's, 10k's, training for a marathon right now....and she has those funny looking toe shoes!!! So proud of her!

Kelly said...

Oh Lindsay you make me laugh! But I have to agree with TJ, running is a great stress reliever. However, I don't run marathons, I like the shorter distances, like 5Ks. Haven't run for awhile due to my knees, but I'm going to try here again soon. 5K season is coming up in a month! :)