Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Why I don't run
It's marathon season here in Fargo. My husband is obsessed. I would like to take this week and celebrate why I do NOT run.
1. Froggles - a term my husband speaks. a.k.a "the jogging farts". Are you kidding me!?!?
2. Bleeding nipples - tshirts chaffing...gah! do I need to explain? Looks like a great time. Sign me up.
3. Pooping in pants - apparently the bowel system unleashes when you run and forget to clear out the pipes.
4. Being chased by dogs. Or, being bitten by TJ's personal favorite, a Bischon Frise. Ruff Ruff.
5. Hypothermia (in this part of the country, not freezing to death requires a minimum of 11 layers of running gear)
Oh, and did I mention that 9 months out of the year it feels like it's dark from 7pm to 6am? So, in order to get a good run in, one must look like a glow stick to not get run over by a car, snowplow, or whatever....
6. The gear. Tight pants, short shorts, shoes that look like this!
Nothing about this screams "HEY! I'M HAVING A GREAT TIME!!!"
TJ swears it's a great stress reliever. I coupon and paint my toes. We all have different coping skills.
Perhaps you are a lover of running. If you are running ANY event this year, I salute you! I also will be "that gal" wearing an obnixious outfit and holding some poster up commenting on how warm, relaxed and "not thirsty" I am.